Keep Calm and Finish Fourth

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist.

Customised shirt sleeves are optional.

BREAKING NEWS: Tottenham fail to sign striker.

BUT... It's okay. Relax. "Keep Calm", if you will. We're in fourth place at the moment without, I feel, ever hitting top gear. Even our win against United was quite smash-and-grab. I've yet to really see us devastate a team. But believe me... It'll happen. And when it does, it will be a thing of beauty. There are countless other reasons why we should remain hopeful of a fourth place finish this season.

Emmanuel Adebayor. Striker. Yes, that's right, an actual STRIKER! We signed him this summer. Cracking player when's he's in any sort of good form. Trouble is, this season he's been mainly used as a number 10 behind Jermain Defoe. I'm not sure this benefits anyone; there were points when it looked like Adebayor was purely being selected on the basis of reputation. What came to our rescue? The ACON. I know Adebayor is effectively playing against cattle-herders, but even so. Goals and assists mean confidence. If Adebayor comes back fully confident and is at least given a chance to start as the lone striker, I'm convinced he'll be brilliant. Let's not forget he was amazing last season. 17 goals and 12 assists is a return expected of any new signing we could have made this window.

Lewis 'One Heck of a Player' Holtby. Signed for a measly £1.5million, this could well be one of the deals of the century. I'm deadly serious. After a brief <30minute cameo against Norwich, I saw enough promise in the lad to know that he'll make a real difference in our bid for Champions League football. He had more touches in less than 30 minutes than Defoe had in 90. That says something about his level of involvement in proceedings, something we've missed whoever has been in the number 10 role this season. Holtby looks to have the same subtlety of play a certain Rafael Van der Vaart had in the sense that he'll play a lot of short, quick passes to get the ball moving and ultimately create a chance. I have very high hopes for this player.
 

If you're happy and you know it...

Without tempting fate, look around us. Chelsea? Haven't strengthened besides Ba, who is somehow on the bench most of the time. Everton? Haven't really strengthened apart from a youth player. Liverpool? Haha, just kidding. Arsenal? Bought a left-back with as much Premier League experience as I have. Granted, he could turn out to be a good player, but at the moment it's a big ask. Look at the last full-back the Gooners brought back with them. Footballer? He looks like he should be serving me a kebab. The point is, none of the teams (particularly below us) have significantly strengthened while I feel Holtby could make a major difference.

 

More chins than a Chinese telephone directory.

Quick question. Is AVB due in court for tax evasion anytime soon? No? Oh, so he must be whoring himself around the England job surely? He's not!?! Well then. Perhaps we won't spectacularly implode and allow our most fierce rivals to overtake us. Then overtake them again. Then bring on Scott Parker instead of Defoe in a must-win game. I still have nightmares. AVB will surely fare better than his predecessor in the final run-in. #InAVBITrust

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