Tuesday, 28 June 2016

Euro 2016 Special - A Nation United in Disappointment

After a disastrous European exit last week, the England national team seemed intent on outdoing the results of the referendum with a frankly embarrassing performance in France. It's the England you've grown to expect disappointment from, managed by a man that should have lost his job two years ago after failing to emerge from a group containing Costa Rica. The tournament was a shambles from start to finish, with very few players retaining any credibility from their performances. The only good thing to come of last night was Woy, like David Cameron last week, finally waving goodbye. Typical, then, that a nation needing to be united more than ever was left so disappointed.

There are so many problems it's difficult to know where to start, but let's look at the glaringly obvious ones. Jack Butland must be cursing his luck - he'd have been a shoe in to start last night after Joe Hart's performances these past few weeks. The Man City keeper's pre-game attitude closely resembled that of a bloke turning up at the pub, singing the national anthem like a drunken fan. It's appearing more and more obvious that this bravado was nothing more than a tactic employed to cover his nerves, which were shot to pieces after making his third mistake of the tournament last night. Hart isn't a bad goalkeeper, but there was a time where English fans thought David Seaman was world class before Ronaldinho lobbed him from forty yards. Perhaps the gloves are cursed.

The back four did as best they could, and barring some bizarre rotation in the third group game, Woy largely got it right. The players picked were the best in their positions during the season, but nobody comes out of this summer stronger than they entered it. Walker and Rose were OK, but suspect of a couple of 'off moments' in concentration. Still, that's to be expected - they're good fullbacks, not world class but still capable of contributing massively to the team. The centre halves, however, cannot hold a candle to the ones we had ten or fifteen years ago. Rio Ferdinand, John Terry, Ledley King and even Judas himself would walk into this England side and give it a much needed kick up the arse. There is no leadership in that defence. Seeing Gary Cahill's bemused face when the ball is played down the channels is a sight to behold, rivalled only by Chris Smalling's obsessive compulsion with pulling shirts.

The midfield did as best they could. Dier was one of England's best players in the group stages, scoring a wonderful free kick and generally protecting the defence well as he had done all season. He is one of the few who leaves France with a modicum of respect in an England shirt, doing himself proud and even attracting supposed interest from Bayern Munich. Shame he's not for sale at any price, boys. This kid's a future Tottenham captain.

Alli never really caught fire in the way he did at Spurs this season but was good in flashes. It's difficult to affect the game massively as a predominantly box-to-box centre mid when sides have ten men behind the ball at all times. Perhaps the fella next to him should have more of an impact. You know, the one heralded as the next best playmaker after his all too recent transition from striker to midfielder. Rooney's performance against Iceland was nothing short of abysmal. Before he was subbed off there were several instances where he couldn't even trap the ball, let alone influence the game. Woy's love affair with Wayne meant another promising young Evertonian wasn't afforded a single minute of football this tournament - that's right, Ross Barkley didn't get on. At all. What a waste of talent.

Don't even get me started on the forwards. Predictably, Harry Kane bore the brunt of criticism for failing to score in any of his games this summer. It's almost as if having your six foot plus golden boot-winning striker taking free kicks and corners is a bad idea. Woy has to take the blame for that. It's not as if Kane fancies himself as the next Beckham. Is there not a single player in the squad capable of delivering a set piece? Maybe the wingers would've been the answer. On one side you have all £50m+ of Raheem Sterling, great if you're running into space on the counter attack, pointless if the opposition back four spend the game in their six yard box. Then there's Lallana, who flatters to deceive with his permanent pirouetting and constant shot-firing straight down the keeper's throat. His replacement, Daniel Sturridge, offered a goal and an assist vs Wales but nothing other than a yellow card against Iceland. If only we had an alternative striking option - and I'm not talking about the one who sniffs cocaine off the top of a WKD bottle at weekends. No, Marcus Rashford was without a doubt England's brightest player from this tournament. His brief cameo appearances involved committing defenders, running with the ball at pace and constantly looking dangerous. Makes sense, then, that Woy would wait until the 87th minute to use the young striker. It's decisions like those that cost you your job, mate. As for Rashford, I'm sure he's going to be a future star.

At last, we come to the crux of the problem. A man many refer to as Uncle Woy; a bumbling, mispronouncing old man who had the hopes of a nation to contest with and failed bitterly. There was no plan B, and if plan A was anything to go by, I wouldn't even want to see B. With a squad as talented as ours, we should be utterly annihilating Russia, Wales, Slovakia and Iceland. But predictably, the players choke, and it is down largely to Woy's mismanagement. What was the gameplan? Get the ball quickly to the wingers and attack from the flanks? Sure, that'd be nice, if any of the crosses came anywhere near Kane. Instead, we had players like Jordan Henderson come into the side and whip the ball fifty yards over Kane's head. The idea was clearly to get the ball to the overlapping fullbacks but once they laid it off to Sturridge, Lallana, Rooney et al, they had no clue what to do with it. It's as if Woy told the boys to go out there and play like they do at club level, forgetting that these things take a level of cohesion and trust only achievable through working together every day during training and the implementation of genuine tactics. In short, Woy got it wrong, and it's no surprise to anyone that he resigned a mere thirty minutes after exiting the tournament. It's just a shame he had the waste this exciting crop of young players before he left.

There's one key difference between England and all the sides they struggled against this summer - heart. The Russians hung in there and nicked a point. The Slovakians were resolute and defensively sound, as were the Welsh for 70-odd minutes before two flukey goals made the difference. And barring an early penalty, England couldn't even trouble Iceland persistently. The gap in quality - on paper, at least - is huge between England and their opponents. The only difference is that the opposition would run through brick walls for their national side, while the English talent would barely cross the road for one another.

The post-Hodgson era - much like the non-EU Britain - has an uncertain future, and only through a strong sense of teamwork will either succeed.

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